Procedure

I'm here at the outpatient pavilion getting ready to be put under so my surgeon can stretch scar tissue. I think the worst part of this is not being able take Xanax for my anxiety (Linda can appreciate that)

My favorite doctor, dr ennis, is the one doing the procedure so that rocks!! He knows I will fight the sedation because, without fail, I will be obnoxious. For those of you who are sick you know there are those small things we do to entertain ourselves!!

Today is not as big a deal as Friday will be so I'm not too nervous. The only crappy thing is that I have waken up a few times during this procedure and it is the worst feeling in the world. I have stressed to dr ennis that I don't want that to happen EVER again!

They are about to put my iv in and I'm all hooked up so I have to sign off. I hope everyone has a wonderful day :))

Priorities

Apology

Hey everyone, I wanted to apologize for not posting this week. On Monday I went to the hospital and got out yesterday. Then, yesterday afternoon I started going downhill... quickly. Turns out I'm withdrawling from a pain medication called dilaudid that i was on in the hospital.

My doctor told me my weekend will consist of throwing up everything i eat and drink, chills, fever, and hot flashes from hell. I promise I will post a video as soon as I feel a little better. I tried to convince Mattie to write this for me but, due to no success, I am typing this post laying down in my sister, Kristins, bed.

I truly hope everyone is having a much better week and I will talk to you all very soon!!

Admitted

Having to go to the ER is bad enough, but being admitted to the actual hospital sucks!!

I came back because my Picc line was infected... For the third time. My stomach was hurting along with multiple other symptoms. After this past hell-esqure week I'm completely physically and mentally drained.

I think that everyone has their own breaking point. Some people take care of families non stop while going to night school and working 30 hours a week. What I'm trying to say is that at some point or another you throw your hands up and just say I'm done.

This past week has shown me my breaking point around 10 times but the difference is that I can't throw my cards on the table and walk away. Having a chronic disease means, if you want to feel better, you are constantly thinking of your disease.

I am taking 4 classes online and finishing up 2 from last semester. If I wake up feeling like crap I have no choice but to take a small amount of pain medication, so I'm not too drowsy, sit at my kitchen table and do my homework. Due to having all of this going on, it really makes me sick. The stress makes my body function even worse.

Even though all my teachers are very considerate about getting assignments in on time I still stress. For goodness sAke, I am so not myself that I started bawling today when I found out to had to come back here. Needless to say, all of this is taking quite the toll on me.

After breaking down my mom made me realize how important it is to do what I need to do to be happy. It is not worth it for me to worry about small issues all day.

Last thought: concentrate on what is important, but not things that make you mad, sad, stresses, etc.

The picture goes to show you how upset mama and u are to be here. Ciao!!

Vegas... not going my way

Me Time

I'm Back!! Things to Do